Most guests of Jamaica’s naughty adult resort Hedonism II develop or have a fascination with pubic, or rather, public nudity. They give up their culturally-induced gymnophobia (fear of being naked). Those in the Lifestyle, though, sometimes think that having sexy outfits is sexier than naked. That may often be true, but Hedo (the nickname of Hedonism II) has a culture different from vacation resorts dedicated specifically to either nudists or to Lifestylers. It blends the two.

Ladies can ornament themselves on Hedo’s nude beach with sexy body jewelry, hats, and high heels (in many areas, the sand is hard-packed enough for strutting, and the pool deck makes a good runway). And, unlike most nudist-friendly places, a gentleman can stroll around sporting an erection without being scorned.

Preparing to Bare

Hedo has a nude beach (where most guests hang and rules require nudity) and a clothing-optional beach (for quiet or clothed time). Comfort is key with naked nudity. And naked in the Tropics is way comfy. 

Prep time for hitting the nude beach goes quick: Check for T.P. hanging out your butt and hit the sand. To acclimate to the concept of naked with or without a full glass of liquid courage:

• Think in terms of sunlight warming your genitals and soft breezes through what might be left of your pubic hair. 
• Think in terms of no serious burn lines at the edge of your swimsuit. 
• Think about the smooth roundness of your fat without the indent of a swimsuit’s elastic emphasizing its mush.

You also avoid crotch-rot because a birthday suit dries faster than a textile one. Packing is easier and less costly because you don’t have to bring multitudes of suits. And remember, if God wanted you to be naked, you would’ve been born that way (over-told nudist joke).

Other advantages include that the penis looks bigger underwater in the pool because of light refraction. And boobs float there, giving them non-surgical lift. Out of the water, going braless pulls the wrinkles from your face. In addition, being naked also promotes eye contact for greater social grace. People caught staring too long at non-eye parts give many people the creeps, and gawkers become social outcasts. If someone catches you looking, just say you’re surveying the number of innies versus outies. A quick wit diffuses almost everything. But comments such as ‘Hey, looks like a button on a fur coat’ don’t help. Nor does ‘helluva fire hazard down there.’

Many people experience nudity for the first time at Hedo. Guests recommend going naked at the start of a trip. You’ll be nicknamed ‘cottontail’ if you try it later in the week because of the contrast of where your suit was.

Easing into It

Bill S. from Virginia offers these strategies for people getting naked for the first time:

Sneak Attack: Find a private spot on the nude beach 50 feet from the sailboats before 9:30 a.m., when few people are on the beach. Disrobe, lie on your belly checking things out, go for a swim when nobody seems to be looking, and then muster the courage for that first walk to the nude beach bar sometime after 10 a.m. 

Muscle Trip: Have a double shot at the main bar, go to the jetty, peel, and walk (nonchalantly) to the nude beach bar for another double. 

Partial Peel: Don’t wear suits to the nude beach because undressing is too awkward. Instead, walk from your room wearing a sarong, towel, or long shirt, then just slip it off and drape it over your arm for a bit of coverage until you acclimate. 

The Introduction: Find experienced nude beachers the night before, on the trip from MoBay, or at breakfast and ask them if they would mind accompanying you the first time. Your new friends will make you more comfortable than you would be alone, and they strip first so you won’t feel all eyes are on you. 

After any of these methods, you’ll soon determine swimsuits are a stupid invention.

– By Chris Santilli

This article is an edited excerpt from her travel/humor book The Naked Truth About Hedonism II.
For more information, go to https://chrissantilli.com.